An observation on hospice care . . .

Today was another typical day -- Bill's mom is no better, no worse. She is sleeping most of the time, and took no nourishment today, and maybe a sip or two of water. She is rarely able to form words, and seems to be slipping away. A wonderful booklet the social worker gave us describes the end of life, and the approximate sequence of events. No two deaths are the same, so there is no "formula" but she certainly is exhibiting many of the characteristics of being near the end. Simply the lack of sustenance means that she won't last more than a few days. As the booklet says, she appears to have one foot in this world, and one foot out.

It has been interesting to be in the hospice care center. I've never had the experience of being inside one before, and it is absolutely the most peaceful place I've ever been in, other than church. This place has 16 beds, and of course all patients are at the end of life. There is the most amazing feeling of peace there -- not just from the people and the surroundings, although both are truly amazing. I've never seen such a level of caring from staff before. Watching the nursing shift change, and the nurses stroking Bill's mom's hair as they care for her. Truly amazing. But what I mean by peaceful is that, despite the fact that all people housed there are on death's door, there is not a sense of dread or doom, but rather that there is a distinct presence of God there. You can almost see angels hovering in the corners, waiting to take their charges to heaven on angel's wings. You can most certainly feel their presence. This is not a sad feeling, but simply a feeling of waiting, and that the hospice is a place of transition. Bill and I both felt the presence of God, and these amazing heavenly angels.

I've never had much experience with angels before, certainly never felt the close presence of them. I've of course been felt the presence of God and His Holy Spirit throughout my life, but this place has angels everywhere. Sometimes out of the corner of my eye, I can almost see them.

Thank you for your support as we go through this difficult time. God bless you.

A Quick Update . . .

We arrived safely at O'Hare in Chicago Saturday night at 11pm after an uneventful flight. We left Chico a few minutes late, and arrived in San Francisco about 1:35. We were glad that we didn't have to rush off to the next flight to Chicago, which was leaving at 1:55, but the downside was that the next one after that wasn't until 5:10!! So we had a few hours to kill at the airport. We ate lunch there ($22 for cheeseburgers, fries and cokes -- YIKES!!) and then I browsed a bookstore there, Bill read his book and dozed a bit and I surfed the internet. We boarded, and I had a seat in the exit aisle and Bill was a couple of rows back. When I sat down, I was at the window, a man was in the aisle seat, and the middle seat was empty. I knew it was a full flight, and just a matter of time that the person came to sit in the middle. However, I was happy with my leg room in the exit row, especially since it was a 4 hour flight, and I knew I was going to have to use the restroom several times during the flight.

Well, Bill was in the middle seat in his row, and the gal that was at the window seat offered to switch with me so we could sit together. Well, I hated to give up the legroom, but it was worth it to be able to sit next to Bill, so we switched! Well, of course, the middle person for the exit row never showed!!! If I had just waited, Bill could have come up and sat next to me, and we would have been more comfortable!!!! Arg! That's pretty much the way the weekend was going. And the aisle we were in was Aisle 13, and my overhead light didn't work, so as soon as it got dark, I couldn't read. ARRRRRRRRRG. So aggravating. And yes, after the soda and water we had, I had to use the restroom several times, trying the patience of the guy sitting in the aisle seat. But I warned him, and offered to switch, telling him that I would be happy to sit in the aisle because I knew I was going to have to get up several times, and he didn't want to. So that is on him. Oh well. The flight was smooth, the movie was boring, but I did get to read until the last hour or so. It's weird to fly east in the evening, you're flying into the dark losing 2 hours, and it gets dark really suddenly.

Bill's brother-in-law Rick picked us up at the airport at 11:15pm, bless his heart. I felt bad that he had to pick us up but that truly was the only flight we could get at the last minute. He really didn't seem to mind. Good thing he didn't have to go to work the next day (today). Our flight out on July 1 leaves at 6am, so I booked us at the O'Hare Hilton hotel for Saturday night, so they don't have to get up at 3am to drive us to the airport. I got a super deal through Hotwire at the Hilton. Normally $155 a night, we got it for $69!!! Wooohoo!! We will have them drive us there Saturday afternoon.

Anyway, this morning we woke up at 8:15 Chicago time (6:15 Chico time) after going to bed at 1:30am Chicago time. We were tired, but we're slowly getting used to the time change. We went over to the hospice care to see Bill's mom about 11am. She wasn't having a good day. She was in a lot of pain, so they gave her morphine, and she was really out of it most of the day. She slept most of the time, occasionally rousing for a minute or two. She had a few bites of food and a few sips of water, and that's about it. Rick said to be prepared for a shock, because she was so completely different than the last time we saw her, which was in March of 2006. I'm glad he prepared us, because she looked really bad. I just hope that hospice can make her comfortable and that she doesn't suffer. I hope this doesn't drag on and on, for the sake of the family.

I'ts late, and I need to go. I will blog as much as I can while we're here. Thank you again for all your thoughts and prayers.

Some News

Unfortunately, it's not good news. We are flying out to Chicago unexpectedly this Saturday (the 23rd) and we will return on July 1st. Bill's mom is not doing well, and were told to "hurry." So that's what we are doing. Do you know how difficult it is (not to mention expensive!) to get last minute flights to Chicago in the summertime?? Wowzers. Some of the flights we have seats together; some we are in seats just in front of or in back of each other. We got tickets from Chico to San Francisco, then SF to Chicago. On the way home, we go from Chicago to Denver, to SF to Chico. We are hoping that she improves while we are there.

Bill's mom went back into the hospital with a GI bleed (not a good thing). She is refusing treatment, and she says she is just tired. When she leaves the hospital, she will be under hospice care. She is refusing medications and refusing nourishment, so unless we can convince her otherwise, she will not last long.

We are hoping to get her to start eating again, but her COPD and chronic bronchitis and emphysema, in addition to her osteoporosis make life very painful for her. She is 79 years old. If anything proves that smoking is bad for you, watching her go through this does. Please keep our family in your prayers.

We are taking our laptop with us, because I need to keep in touch with work by accessing my work email, so I will also be able to check home email as well. I will be posting any updates to this blog as time permits.

And on another sad note, Bill and I had managed to score some tickets to the Giants-Yankees game in San Francisco this Saturday from my friend Jerry at work, and now we will be in the air when the game begins. **sigh** In light of Bill's mother's health, its a relatively minor thing, but disappointing nonetheless.

Thank you for your support! Talk to you when we return.